Trump Gives His Own Account of the Mueller Report on 'SNL'
- Author: Sonia Alvarado Apr 01, 2019,
Apr 01, 2019, 1:31
President Trump's son echoed his father's frequent criticism of the press on Sunday, calling the media "a blight on our republic" in the wake of the conclusion of Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report on Russian interference into the 2016 election.
Said De Niro's Mueller: "I am submitting these 380 pages".
Bryant: "I'm writing nearly four pages".
Tweeted Baldwin's Trump: "I am reading zero pages, but Sean Hannity has read it and he was so excited that he texted me an eggplant".
Tweeted Baldwin's Trump: "Free at last, free at last".
"What I was really targeted for by the Mueller team and these individuals had nothing to do with Russian Federation; it had to do with my work in Israel and my work as an energy lobbyist", he said. "No collusion, no diggity".
Baldwin's Trump simply sounded an airhorn in excitement.
To the news of everyone indicted in the probe related to Trump, Barr responded they were "good people" and Trump responded, "The pardons are already in the mail".
Speaking on whether he thought Mueller's investigation wanted to find President Donald Trump guilty of crimes, Trump Jr. said: "I think so because they didn't find anything, but the reality is there was nothing there to find". Barr said he and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein decided on their own that Mueller's evidence was insufficient to establish that the president committed obstruction.
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"Russia, if you're watching, go to bed, Daddy won", Baldwin's Trump bragged.
Then De Niro's Mueller reminded everyone that there are still ongoing investigations.
"In conclusion, it is my hope that this report will be made public with a few redactions", said De Niro.
Assured Bryant's Barr: "Hella redactions".
Getting serious, he warned: "If you shoot at the devil, you best not miss".
In a sketch later in the show, The Mueller Report came up again in a meeting at the Kremlin.
"We looked forward to the report so much", said Cecily Strong's Putin adviser.
The generals, confounded, asked, "If we have no blackmail, why President Trump say such nice things about you". I have learned to live with Fake News, which has never been more corrupt than it is right now. "I'm still a powerful, scary guy!" "He's in my head!" DeNiro's Mueller, however, ended the skit with a final message for the president, "P.S. can't wait to see what the Southern District of NY has in store for Trump".
The findings from the Mueller report are expected to be handed over to congress sometime by mid-April.